As I mentioned before, I am taking this over briefly so the end of the story may not be as colorful as the beginning. I am trying to remember where AJ left off because I am typing this sequel piece at like 35,000 feet as we fly home from Miami through Houston and on into Seattle… more about that later when I turn this back over to AJ though. I think that AJ was letting you know how ticked off I was to have surgery. He wasn’t kidding. I mean seriously… how many people come home for a five day break and end up wasting 2.5 days on something as dumb as a worthless appendix. I am not saying that I doubt God’s wisdom but this business of extra organs that can just be removed… spleens, appendixes, gall bladders…. Seriously! Anyway…. So if memory serves me correctly AJ left you at the point I asked Eric to go home and get me AJ, the book I had been reading, my work cell phone, a bottle of water and some hair ties. Oh, and a phone charger. Kind of an eclectic mix I realize, but one does what one has to do. I got AJ for the obvious reasons (like he is always with me in case you didn’t know, and SOMEONE had to be able to tell the story!!)…I needed the work phone to call my chain of command and let them know what was happening in case I didn’t get back on time (although I was pretty committed to not missing the flight since I had the kids with me)…. I needed a book to pass the time because I was so ticked there was no way I was sleeping…. The hair ties were because I knew if I laid in a hospital bed for that long without brushing it I would be be SO sorry the next time I could brush it so I braided it into two French braids…. The water because I was thirsty after that NASTY junk I had to drink, and then the phone charger for the Blackberry so I could continue to text and post sarcastic comments and gnarly pictures to my Facebook account. I have to say…. I liked my blackberry before this, but I totally LOVED being able to still be in perfect contact with everybody and everything even from a hospital bed. I know that there are some of you out there who don’t approve, but hey, if you don’t approve and you are reading isn’t that a little hypocritical since the same technology that keeps me connected on my blackberry keeps me connected to you? I’m just saying….. Anyway… so Eric went and got all my stuff for me and they FINALLY moved me into a room…. I even got to be in a private one so no one had to put up with my supreme grumpiness. Your tax dollars at work, sorry about that. Anyway, we decided Eric should go home and get some rest before going to work cleaning at the restaurant, that there was no reason to stay with me since I wasn’t going into surgery until 5:00 am and he could just come straight back after cleaning. That was the plan anyway…. So he left and I was in my room reading and I had my bottle of 
water near my bed although I had not had the opportunity to do much more than take a sip when this nazi nurse came in and told me that I could not have that water because I was going into surgery. I was a bit perturbed and asked why since they just had me drink a liter of that contrast crud… seriously what more harm could a bit of water do? And she got all snotty with me and informed me that I was not to eat or drink ANYTHING because I was going into SURGERY. Newsflash lady, pretty sure I got it by now that I am going to be having surgery…. So I say OK, I won’t drink it. She says,” I am removing it from your room because you cannot have it.” I say, “It belongs to me and you are not removing it. I already said I would not drink it, I won’t drink it.” She goes, “I will just move it over here so you don’t ‘accidently forget.’” You want to talk about ticked off…. My whole life depends on me being able to follow lawful orders in a timely and decisive manner. If you tell me not to drink the water because it will interfere with my surgery, I am not going to drink the darn water. But serious as a heart attack she moves it over to the other counter out of my reach. Apparently civilian hospitals don’t have the customer comment cards that Army hospitals do…. Pretty lucky for that lady!! So I hang out in my room, reading and dozing and being woken up every half hour for tests and labs and junk and at like 1:30 am or so they come in and start to wheel me away. I am a bit startled and asked what was going on…. Turns out that the doctor had to come in for some other emergency so she decided to handle me at the same time. So off I went to surgery. I was going to call Eric but then decided there wasn’t much he could do anyway so I just let him keep cleaning and when he showed up later the deed would be done. So we went downstairs and I met my nice nurse Ben… he gave me the most awesome blanket thing! He laid it over me and then connected it to this tube (kind of like the ones on an old fashioned hair dryer things and he flipped the switch…. HEAVEN! It had all these little holes all along it and it blew up like an air mattress and this warm air came rushing out…. It was the first time I had been warm all evening. I love nurse Ben! Oh, and AJ was with me. 
The doctor came to see me and I swear she looked a little like Dr. Bailey from Grey’s and that was pretty cool. We even swapped a little Grey’s talk… even better but I did not get to see a McDreamy or a McSteamy so that was a total bummer! So she met AJ too and I told them I have a hard time with anesthesia and then they rolled me into the surgery suite which was a total bummer because I didn’t get to keep the air blanket and then the anesthesiologist said something to me and the next thing I remember I was waking up (sort of) back in the pre-op room, AJ was still with me (or with me again I suspect) and nurse Ben was telling me I should be fine since I already threw up in the surgery suite. I hate to say I told you so but I did warn then about the anesthesia thing!! The next time I remember anything I was back in my own room and my mom was visiting me on her way to work and then Daddy visited me and then Eric and the kids…. Then the doctor stopped by and said I could probably go home that day since they did the surgery laproscopically (which means they pulled it out my belly button) and I just needed to lay around and rest, eat a bland diet and relax. I reminded her I was flying on Thursday (it was now Tuesday) and while she frowned upon the action there was no medical risk so there wasn’t a lot she could do but warn me I was going to be VERY sore. I really wanted to say “Duh, but whose fault is that really?” but I didn’t. So I had to do the required walking and stuff so they would let me go and they finally released me around 3:30 or so…. Here is my picture of that…. And I put 
on the clothes Eric brought for me, loaded everyone into the truck and headed for the Melting Pot in Seattle. We may have missed the Science Center because of that stupid thing, but I wasn’t about to ruin the kid’s Christmas or miss our reservations. They had been so excited about getting to go! So we drove to Seattle (with yet MORE SNOW), ate at the Melting Pot and headed back. In retrospect, I would have to say not one of my brighter moves as Seattle was SO buried in snow and the roads were SO rutted and the bouncing around and trying to walk were a bit on the painful side. Plus I was pretty worn out by the time we got back. What do you do though? Isn’t that kind of what parenthood is about… self sacrifice for the family? Maybe that is taking it a bit far but the kids really had a good time and it was worth it. I was pretty wiped out the next day though! I basically sat in the game day throne and played board games with the kids. We went to Fred Meyer’s about 15 minutes before it closed on Christmas Eve (ZOO!) to get Eric’s present and a few last minute things for the kids and a sweatsuit for me to travel in the next day since all I had with me were jeans and a uniform, neither particularly conducive to keeping stress of a fresh incision. The nasty cashier at Fred Meyer asked me what was wrong and I told him I had just been released from the hospital the day before and he turns to his coworker and says in this nasty voice, “See, nothing keeps you Americans from spending money on this bloody holiday.” Pretty awesome. He must be so proud. I guess I should have been more careful to schedule my shopping time and surgery around providing the blanket of freedom he sleeps so peacefully under here in MY country. But I digress… all in all it was a grand adventure although not one I hope to repeat soon. I will tell you more about the flight back and my recovery time in El Paso and my new snuggly friend and AJ’s temper tantrum in a day or two. Toodles for now and I will talk to you soon. Since I have no job, failed out of school (another post as well) and basically just have a lot of time on my hands you can know it is true. Besides, I am anxious to turn the blog into one for AJ. I am thinking of maybe writing a children’s book featuring Max (the puppy you will learn about soon) and AJ. I think it will be cool. The what, two of you or so who actually read this will have to tell me what you think! That’s it for now. Sorry for the length… but what else is there to do at 35,000 feet when everyone else is sleeping? As AJ would say, peace out friends!
Good thing I came across this while at home i WOULD have got caught at work.
Posted by: gramma | May 25, 2009 at 08:11 PM