So here is where the story actually starts to get kind of funny… well, not so much from Mom’s point of view, and not right then, but now that it is over, the story is entertaining. So Mom goes into the clinic and her first question is “Do you take Tricare?” Well, of course they don’t so she is annoyed from the get-go that her insurance doesn’t work here and she is going to have to pay out of pocket for something she expects to be gas. So she fills out all the paperwork, and just stands in the lobby because #1, there is noone there and #2, it kind of hurts to sit down. So after a bit the nurse comes and gets her and does all the pre-checkup stuff like weight and height and blood pressure and all that, and then uses this phrase that will become standard (and annoying) over the course of the rest of the story…. “Do you still have your appendix? Hmmm….) She then asks mom for a urine sample for a pregnancy test. Now Mom does not take too kindly to the request on account of the fact that the necessary ummm, arrangements for pregnancy have not been met, and on account of the fact that she has neither eaten nor drunk anything all day because of the intense pain so how in the world can she be expected to pee in a cup? And let me tell you, the night went downhill from there. After the nurse made her drink 5 dixie cups of water (she made it through 2 before she started to cry because it made it hurt so much worse) the doctor came in. He noted the tears, asked what was going on, did some pushing and prodding, and repeated the question…. “ Do you still have your appendix? Hmmm….” At this point Mom was past the cranky stage and not to nicely informed him that people really needed to stop saying that and she narced on the mean nurse who made her drink water. The doctor said that in order to do a proper diagnosis he needed blood work and a CT scan and his clinic did not have the facilities to do either so he was going to pre-admit her at the emergency room at St. Joseph. Now, if you have any idea how hostile she was BEFORE that little bit of information, it was nothing compared to what was coming. First she asked the doctor if she could wait since she was headed back to Texas in two days and she was only there to have Christmas with her family and this wasn’t exactly a convenient time. She then asked him if he couldn’t diagnose her there and had to refer her out what business did he have charging her $110 for a doctor visit. She feels bad now but she was pretty ticked off then. So… she called Gramma and asked her to keep the kids overnight just in case, and she called Eric and let him know that they had to go to the emergency room and that she was already tired of hearing, “Do you still have your appendix? Hmmmm…..” So papa Eric came and got her and they went to the emergency room at St. Joseph’s where the first question was, yep, you guessed it, “Do you still have your appendix? Hmmmm….” I wonder if they teach that in medical school? Well, after she got pre-admitted (with a small brown bag containing an even smaller plastic bottle for her “contribution”) she went to the “real” admitting place where the nice young man told her that “of course” they took Tricare and asked if she wanted any pain medication. Well now that you mention it…. Isn’t insurance a wonderful thing? So she got her little ID tag and some meds and she went to the waiting room (and to the bathroom for her “contribution”) and just waited. It wasn’t too terribly long before they placed her back in a room and gave her an IV, and some fluids, and more pain medicine (four shots later she finally felt a little better) and started doing their thing. After a few more rounds of “Do you still have your appendix? Hmmm….” it was decided that a CT scan needed to be performed. I don’t know if any of you have ever had a CT scan, I haven’t, but I do know now after hearing this story that I don’t want to… but it was decided that Mom needed to drink a huge bottle of contrast. I don’t know how to describe contrast because Mom doesn’t know how to describe contrast. This is the best she can do “I have never known that water could be thick and this is the grossest thing I have ever drunk.” Eric was all optimistic and he poured Mom this big glass of it and cheerfully said, “drink up!” He had obviously never drunk contrast! Mom took a big swallow and about puked on the bed. So in the IV went more meds, these ones for anti-nausea and so it began. Eric was telling Mom she was a tough Army girl and she could do this and she was getting pissy and telling him that he had no idea because it wasn’t him in pain and having to drink this junk and couldn’t she just go home and worry about this after Christmas…. And pretty soon the gauntlet was thrown down and Mom said she wasn’t drinking anymore until he knew what she was going through and so he took a sip and oh my goodness…according to Mom his face was hysterical, especially as he tried not to gag as he was saying, “that’s not so bad.” But after that he did conclude that it was pretty gross and maybe smaller amounts would be better. So he poured little ½ Dixie cups and Mom managed to drink one every 5 minutes until the junk was gone but she swears it was pure force of will and the thought that Army girls are too tough to be put down by nasty thick swamp water flavored with lemon Crystal Light which for the record is gross all by itself. So a couple of more shots of anti-nausea meds and pain killer later, Mom was wheeled off for her CT scan and at the CT room they shot her full of iodine which made her body freak a little, she thought she tasted blood and got an instant raging headache. At some point in all of this, they also gave her some Sulfa even though she was wearing a HUGE RED BRACELET saying not too. We assume that is where the terrible headache came in…. they told her the next day that it had happened but that they monitored to make sure she didn’t go into anaphylactic shock… wasn’t that nice of them?! So she was wheeled back up into the first room she came from and the doctor came in and said, yep, she was in the beginning stages of appendicitis and that they were going to admit her to the hospital and operate at 0500 the next morning. At this point there were more tears, and some argument that if it was only beginning then it was no big deal and couldn’t they just give her some drugs and let her go home with her family for Christmas and what was wrong with these doctors, didn’t they know she was only home for 5 days and had no desire to spend two of them in the hospital? Nothing doing though, they just patted her and left.
So of course, Mom went into planning mode and told Eric to go home, get her government phone, the phone chargers, her book she brought to read, a bottle of water, a brush, hair ties and ME! She had her blackberry with her so she took a picture (see the big bottle on the right hand table by the blue thingie? That was the contrast!) and posted to her facebook that she was going in for surgery. She’s a funny one like that… pissed at the beginning, but resigned and taking care of business the rest of the time, although I will say that she does NOT look too happy in this picture! She also had to call and explain to Ladybug Sarah what was going on and tell her not to be scared because she wasn’t taking it well and Gramma thought it best she hear from Mom that it was all going to be OK. She also called back to her unit and let them know what was going on just in case but told them that she had made it VERY CLEAR to the doctor that she was flying back to Texas on Thursday no matter what (and yes, this was Monday night… optimistic isn’t she?!). So that is where I will leave this portion…. Mom admitted to the hospital, Eric headed out to get the stuff she requested and a 0500 surgery date for Tuesday morning. Catch up with you soon for the rest of the story!!
Don't let mom intimidage you just keep telling the story as it REALLY happened not the way she remembers.
Posted by: gramma | March 30, 2009 at 11:34 AM