{So Many Hats}

The Great Appendix Adventure pt. 4

As I mentioned before, I am taking this over briefly so the end of the story may not be as colorful as the beginning.  I am trying to remember where AJ left off because I am typing this sequel piece at like 35,000 feet as we fly home from Miami through Houston and on into Seattle… more about that later when I turn this back over to AJ though.  I think that AJ was letting you know how ticked off I was to have surgery.  He wasn’t kidding.  I mean seriously… how many people come home for a five day break and end up wasting 2.5 days on something as dumb as a worthless appendix.  I am not saying that I doubt God’s wisdom but this business of extra organs that can just be removed… spleens, appendixes, gall bladders…. Seriously!  Anyway…. So if memory serves me correctly AJ left you at the point I asked Eric to go home and get me AJ, the book I had been reading, my work cell phone, a bottle of water and some hair ties.  Oh, and a phone charger.  Kind of an eclectic mix I realize, but one does what one has to do.  I got AJ for the obvious reasons (like he is always with me in case you didn’t know, and SOMEONE had to be able to tell the story!!)…I needed the work phone to call my chain of command and let them know what was happening in case I didn’t get back on time (although I was pretty committed to not missing the flight since I had the kids with me)…. I needed a book to pass the time because I was so ticked there was no way I was sleeping…. The hair ties were because I knew if I laid in a hospital bed for that long without brushing it I would be be SO sorry the next time I could brush it so I braided it into two French braids…. The water because I was thirsty after that NASTY junk I had to drink, and then the phone charger for the Blackberry so I could continue to text and post sarcastic comments and gnarly pictures to my Facebook account.  I have to say…. I liked my blackberry before this, but I totally LOVED being able to still be in perfect contact with everybody and everything even from a hospital bed.  I know that there are some of you out there who don’t approve, but hey, if you don’t approve and you are reading isn’t that a little hypocritical since the same technology that keeps me connected on my blackberry keeps me connected to you?  I’m just saying….. Anyway… so Eric went and got all my stuff for me and they FINALLY moved me into a room…. I even got to be in a private one so no one had to put up with my supreme grumpiness.  Your tax dollars at work, sorry about that.  Anyway, we decided Eric should go home and get some rest before going to work cleaning at the restaurant, that there was no reason to stay with me since I wasn’t going into surgery until 5:00 am and he could just come straight back after cleaning.  That was the plan anyway…. So he left and I was in my room reading and I had my bottle of water near my bed although I had not had the opportunity to do much more than take a sip when this nazi nurse came in and told me that I could not have that water because I was going into surgery.  I was a bit perturbed and asked why since they just had me drink a liter of that contrast crud… seriously what more harm could a bit of water do?  And she got all snotty with me and informed me that I was not to eat or drink ANYTHING because I was going into SURGERY.  Newsflash lady, pretty sure I got it by now that I am going to be having surgery…. So I say OK, I won’t drink it.  She says,” I am removing it from your room because you cannot have it.”  I say, “It belongs to me and you are not removing it.  I already said I would not drink it, I won’t drink it.” She goes, “I will just move it over here so you don’t ‘accidently forget.’”  You want to talk about ticked off…. My whole life depends on me being able to follow lawful orders in a timely and decisive manner.  If you tell me not to drink the water because it will interfere with my surgery, I am not going to drink the darn water.  But serious as a heart attack she moves it over to the other counter out of my reach.  Apparently civilian hospitals don’t have the customer comment cards that Army hospitals do…. Pretty lucky for that lady!!  So I hang out in my room, reading and dozing and being woken up every half hour for tests and labs and junk and at like 1:30 am or so they come in and start to wheel me away.  I am a bit startled and asked what was going on…. Turns out that the doctor had to come in for some other emergency so she decided to handle me at the same time.  So off I went to surgery.  I was going to call Eric but then decided there wasn’t much he could do anyway so I just let him keep cleaning and when he showed up later the deed would be done.  So we went downstairs and I met my nice nurse Ben… he gave me the most awesome blanket thing!  He laid it over me and then connected it to this tube (kind of like the ones on an old fashioned hair dryer things and he flipped the switch…. HEAVEN!  It had all these little holes all along it and it blew up like an air mattress and this warm air came rushing out…. It was the first time I had been warm all evening.  I love nurse Ben!  Oh, and AJ was with me.  The doctor came to see me and I swear she looked a little like Dr. Bailey from Grey’s and that was pretty cool.  We even swapped a little Grey’s talk… even better but I did not get to see a McDreamy or a McSteamy so that was a total bummer!  So she met AJ too and I told them I have a hard time with anesthesia and then they rolled me into the surgery suite which was a total bummer because I didn’t get to keep the air blanket and then the anesthesiologist said something to me and the next thing I remember I was waking up (sort of) back in the pre-op room, AJ was still with me (or with me again I suspect) and nurse Ben was telling me I should be fine since I already threw up in the surgery suite.  I hate to say I told you so but I did warn then about the anesthesia thing!!  The next time I remember anything I was back in my own room and my mom was visiting me on her way to work and then Daddy visited me and then Eric and the kids…. Then the doctor stopped by and said I could probably go home that day since they did the surgery laproscopically (which means they pulled it out my belly button) and I just needed to lay around and rest, eat a bland diet and relax.  I reminded her I was flying on Thursday (it was now Tuesday) and while she frowned upon the action there was no medical risk so there wasn’t a lot she could do but warn me I was going to be VERY sore.  I really wanted to say “Duh, but whose fault is that really?” but I didn’t.  So I had to do the required walking and stuff so they would let me go and they finally released me around 3:30 or so…. Here is my picture of that…. And I put on the clothes Eric brought for me, loaded everyone into the truck and headed for the Melting Pot in Seattle.  We may have missed the Science Center because of that stupid thing, but I wasn’t about to ruin the kid’s Christmas or miss our reservations.  They had been so excited about getting to go!  So we drove to Seattle (with yet MORE SNOW), ate at the Melting Pot and headed back.  In retrospect, I would have to say not one of my brighter moves as Seattle was SO buried in snow and the roads were SO rutted and the bouncing around and trying to walk were a bit on the painful side.  Plus I was pretty worn out by the time we got back.  What do you do though?  Isn’t that kind of what parenthood is about… self sacrifice for the family?  Maybe that is taking it a bit far but the kids really had a good time and it was worth it.  I was pretty wiped out the next day though!  I basically sat in the game day throne and played board games with the kids.  We went to Fred Meyer’s about 15 minutes before it closed on Christmas Eve (ZOO!) to get Eric’s present and a few last minute things for the kids and a sweatsuit for me to travel in the next day since all I had with me were jeans and a uniform, neither particularly conducive to keeping stress of a fresh incision.  The nasty cashier at Fred Meyer asked me what was wrong and I told him I had just been released from the hospital the day before and he turns to his coworker and says in this nasty voice, “See, nothing keeps you Americans from spending money on this bloody holiday.”  Pretty awesome.  He must be so proud.  I guess I should have been more careful to schedule my shopping time and surgery around providing the blanket of freedom he sleeps so peacefully under here in MY country.  But I digress… all in all it was a grand adventure although not one I hope to repeat soon.  I will tell you more about the flight back and my recovery time in El Paso and my new snuggly friend and AJ’s temper tantrum in a day or two.  Toodles for now and I will talk to you soon.  Since I have no job, failed out of school (another post as well) and basically just have a lot of time on my hands you can know it is true.  Besides, I am anxious to turn the blog into one for AJ.  I am thinking of maybe writing a children’s book featuring Max (the puppy you will learn about soon) and AJ.  I think it will be cool.  The what, two of you or so who actually read this will have to tell me what you think! That’s it for now.  Sorry for the length… but what else is there to do at 35,000 feet when everyone else is sleeping?  As AJ would say, peace out friends!

Hi-jacked and Re-jacked

OK… AJ just has really not had the time to properly blog and so I am rejacking what used to be my blog and then somehow became AJ’s blog when he hijacked it from me so I can catch you up on some of his adventures and then I can turn the blog back over to him.  He has been getting quite a bit of attention these last few weeks as we have been travelling and we keep telling people that he has his own blog so I think I will just give it to him.  I was already thinking that since I am returning home now I might just change the name of the blog from “So Many Hats” to AJ’s Ultimate Adventures or something like that and it kind of seems to be the right time.  He even made a friend in St. Thomas this last week that wants to read about him.  Go figure. …he seems to have a lot more fun than I do though!  Anyway, let’s get to it….

Let me just say....

That hearsay from a turtle is NOT admissable in a court of law.  He is taking second and third account stories and putting his own special twist on them.  I will admit to being annoyed, and trying to get out of surgery, but let me point out that by this time I was full of a LOT of morphine =)  Morphine is a nice drug, don't you think?  AJ did get to come to the hospital, and I did do a lot of texting on my Blackberry ... boy I like that thing!! 

"Do you still have your appendix? Hmmmmm...."

 So here is where the story actually starts to get kind of funny… well, not so much from Mom’s point of view, and not right then, but now that it is over, the story is entertaining.  So Mom goes into the clinic and her first question is “Do you take Tricare?” Well, of course they don’t so she is annoyed from the get-go that her insurance doesn’t work here and she is going to have to pay out of pocket for something she expects to be gas.  So she fills out all the paperwork, and just stands in the lobby because #1, there is noone there and #2, it kind of hurts to sit down.  So after a bit the nurse comes and gets her and does all the pre-checkup stuff like weight and height and blood pressure and all that, and then uses this phrase that will become standard (and annoying) over the course of the rest of the story…. “Do you still have your appendix?  Hmmm….)   She then asks mom for a urine sample for a pregnancy test.  Now Mom does not take too kindly to the request on account of the fact that the necessary ummm, arrangements for pregnancy have not been met, and on account of the fact that she has neither eaten nor drunk anything all day because of the intense pain so how in the world can she be expected to pee in a cup?  And let me tell you, the night went downhill from there.  After the nurse made her drink 5 dixie cups of water (she made it through 2 before she started to cry because it made it hurt so much worse) the doctor came in.  He noted the tears, asked what was going on, did some pushing and prodding, and repeated the question…. “ Do you still have your appendix? Hmmm….” At this point Mom was past the cranky stage and not to nicely informed him that people really needed to stop saying that and she narced on the mean nurse who made her drink water.   The doctor said that in order to do a proper diagnosis he needed blood work and a CT scan and his clinic did not have the facilities to do either so he was going to pre-admit her at the emergency room at St. Joseph. Now, if you have any idea how hostile she was BEFORE that little bit of information, it was nothing compared to what was coming.  First she asked the doctor if she could wait since she was headed back to Texas in two days and she was only there to have Christmas with her family and this wasn’t exactly a convenient time.  She then asked him if he couldn’t diagnose her there and had to refer her out what business did he have charging her $110 for a doctor visit.  She feels bad now but she was pretty ticked off then.  So… she called Gramma and asked her to keep the kids overnight just in case, and she called Eric and let him know that they had to go to the emergency room and that she was already tired of hearing, “Do you still have your appendix?  Hmmmm…..” So papa Eric came and got her and they went to the emergency room at St. Joseph’s where the first question was, yep, you guessed it, “Do you still have your appendix?  Hmmmm….”  I wonder if they teach that in medical school?  Well, after she got pre-admitted (with a small brown bag containing an even smaller plastic bottle for her “contribution”) she went to the “real” admitting place where the nice young man told her that “of course” they took Tricare and asked if she wanted any pain medication.  Well now that you mention it…. Isn’t insurance a wonderful thing?  So she got her little ID tag and some meds and she went to the waiting room (and to the bathroom for her “contribution”) and just waited.  It wasn’t too terribly long before they placed her back in a room and gave her an IV, and some fluids, and more pain medicine (four shots later she finally felt a little better) and started doing their thing.  After a few more rounds of “Do you still have your appendix? Hmmm….” it was decided that a CT scan needed to be performed.  I don’t know if any of you have ever had a CT scan, I haven’t, but I do know now after hearing this story that I don’t want to… but it was decided that Mom needed to drink a huge bottle of contrast.  I don’t know how to describe contrast because Mom doesn’t know how to describe contrast.  This is the best she can do “I have never known that water could be thick and this is the grossest thing I have ever drunk.”  Eric was all optimistic and he poured Mom this big glass of it and cheerfully said, “drink up!”  He had obviously never drunk contrast!  Mom took a big swallow and about puked on the bed.  So in the IV went more meds, these ones for anti-nausea and so it began.  Eric was telling Mom she was a tough Army girl and she could do this and she was getting pissy and telling him that he had no idea because it wasn’t him in pain and having to drink this junk and couldn’t she just go home and worry about this after Christmas…. And pretty soon the gauntlet was thrown down and Mom said she wasn’t drinking anymore until he knew what she was going through and so he took a sip and oh my goodness…according to Mom his face was hysterical, especially as he tried not to gag as he was saying, “that’s not so bad.”  But after that he did conclude that it was pretty gross and maybe smaller amounts would be better.  So he poured little ½ Dixie cups and Mom managed to drink one every 5 minutes until the junk was gone but she swears it was pure force of will and the thought that Army girls are too tough to be put down by nasty thick swamp water flavored with lemon Crystal Light which for the record is gross all by itself.  So a couple of more shots of anti-nausea meds and pain killer later, Mom was wheeled off for her CT scan and at the CT room they shot her full of iodine which made her body freak a little, she thought she tasted blood and got an instant raging headache.  At some point in all of this, they also gave her some Sulfa even though she was wearing a HUGE RED BRACELET saying not too.  We assume that is where the terrible headache came in…. they told her the next day that it had happened but that they monitored to make sure she didn’t go into anaphylactic shock… wasn’t that nice of them?!  So she was wheeled back up into the first room she came from and the doctor came in and said, yep, she was in the beginning stages of appendicitis and that they were going to admit her to the hospital and operate at 0500 the next morning.  At this point there were more tears, and some argument that if it was only beginning then it was no big deal and couldn’t they just give her some drugs and let her go home with her family for Christmas and what was wrong with these doctors, didn’t they know she was only home for 5 days and had no desire to spend two of them in the hospital?  Nothing doing though, they just patted her and left.

 

So of course, Mom went into planning mode and told Eric to go home, get her government phone, the phone chargers, her book she brought to read, a bottle of water, a brush, hair ties and ME!  She had her blackberry with her so she took a picture (see the big bottle on the right hand table by the blue thingie?  That was the contrast!) and posted to her facebook that she was going in for surgery.  She’s a funny one like that… pissed at the beginning, but resigned and taking care of business the rest of the time, although I will say that she does NOT look too happy in this picture!  She also had to call and explain to Ladybug Sarah what was going on and tell her not to be scared because she wasn’t taking it well and Gramma thought it best she hear from Mom that it was all going to be OK.  She also called back to her unit and let them know what was going on just in case but told them that she had made it VERY CLEAR to the doctor that she was flying back to Texas on Thursday no matter what (and yes, this was Monday night… optimistic isn’t she?!).  So that is where I will leave this portion…. Mom admitted to the hospital, Eric headed out to get the stuff she requested and a 0500 surgery date for Tuesday morning.  Catch up with you soon for the rest of the story!!  

Christmas Excitement (part 2)

So on Monday morning when we woke up Mom STILL had a terrible stomachache.  The crummy thing was that Adam (one of the TLC employees) did not go to work the night before and Mom and papa Eric didn’t find out until the morning so they had to go clean Homeport first thing in the morning so Mom had to vacuum the whole restaurant while she had this bad tummy ache and it hurt to the touch and she was generally feeling miserable.  When she got back from the restaurant she came back to bed and she told me that she was weirded out though by the fact that she had not thrown up, there had been no instances of needing to run to the toilet for ANYTHING (if you get my drift) so she could not figure out why the intense pain.  We were all supposed to go sledding up on Mt. Baker but it was STILL snowing in Bellingham so Gramma called to see if we were going to do it and Mom said that it was OK if we didn’t, and Gramma, being the smart cookie she is, knew that if Mom changed a tradition/plan and didn’t care SOMETHING was wrong so she asked what was up and Mom said she had this bad stomachache so just in case maybe she should not be on the top of Mt. Baker and we could just find a park or someplace. Gramma said Mom should go to the doctor but Mom kind of blew her off and said she would figure it out.  So the kids came in and visited, and Mom called some friends for advice, and Eric looked online for information and they thought maybe she was suffering from a gall bladder attach which would have made sense because Gramma doesn’t have her gall bladder anymore and Mom does everything she does…. So it came to be sledding time and Mom went sledding.  Well, went sledding is kind of a misnomer.  She went WITH everyone to go sledding, but she just stood around and took pictures of everyone.  She couldn’t tolerate the bumps on the hill so she just stood still.  Well, Gramma kept nagging and so finally Mom called the doctor and asked them and they said that it was too difficult to diagnose stomach stuff on the phone so she would need to be seen but they were going to close because of the snow so she would have to go to the urgent care clinic.  Well, if you know Mom, you know she hates doctors, and she will only see Dr. Gav so she said thanks, and decided not to go.  She figured she just had bad gas or something and could not see spending all the money for an urgent care visit when they would probably tell her to take some tums and go about her business.  And besides, on Tuesday the family was supposed to go to Seattle and to the Pacific Science Center (one of their FAVE places) and to the Melting Pot (Mom’s FAVE place) so she needed to get ready for that. So Auntie Heather invited everyone to her house for lasagna, and everyone left the sledding site to go get ready.  When Mom got home all she wanted to do was go back to bed so she came to take a little nap with me and then she decided after that maybe she should just go see because the pain just wasn’t getting better.  She said it was really weird, the whole tummy area was swollen up and it hurt EVERYWHERE but she didn’t have to throw up, didn’t have to go to the bathroom, and didn’t have a fever or anything.  She also couldn’t eat though and so I think that is why she finally decided to go.  She told papa Eric to drop her off at the clinic, take the kids out to Auntie Heather’s and come back and get her because she should be done by then (little did she know!!).  So that was her plan.  As we all know… plans don’t always work out.  But ever the optimistic, Mom got cleaned up, dressed to go to Auntie Heather’s house for dinner, got the kids ready, packed everyone in the truck and took off for the urgent care clinic.  That’s when everything got REALLY interesting.  Come back later to find out what happened… WITH PICTURES!!!

Christmas Excitement (part 1)

OK… so I was so flummoxed by the fact that I went so long not blogging and I was sneaking the blog in while Mom was working… (shhhh, don’t tell Big Brothers) that I TOTALLY forgot to put it in green… but it was me.  OK… now that I have cleared that up, and let you know that it is in fact me again, let me continue to tell you about our Christmas adventure.   

 

So after the day of shopping and whatever, we went home to Bellingham and snuggled into bed.  Let me tell you though, it was kind of a scary ride because of all the snow.  Weird that all of us came from living in Texas and flew right into blizzardy conditions.  Anyway though…. The whole family took off on Saturday morning for Christmas at Gramma and Grampa’s.  And I know what you are thinking… Christmas wasn’t on Saturday this year.  You are correct, it wasn’t, but sometimes you just gotta have Christmas when Uncle Sam says you can have Christmas, know what I mean?  Well, I didn’t go for the Christmas thing… Christmas is weird, everyone getting new toys and stuff and you kind of worry that you won’t be loved anymore… so I just stayed home with Peanut and Zipper and we played around while everyone went for Christmas breakfast and presents.  Well, noone came home until like, 7 o’clock at night!  They were gone for almost 10 whole hours.  It was SO crazy!  Turns out that they had their big breakfast, which mom says was SO YUMMY, and then they opened presents, and then various people did various things, and mom and gramma and auntie Heather made a scrapbook present for Gretchen and by then it was getting late in the afternoon and people were hungry again (although how they could possible be hungry after the pounds and pounds of food consumed with Grampa’s amazing Christmas breakfast I have NO idea….) but they were hungry again and so they prevailed on his love of cooking and I am pretty sure that mom and Auntie Heather did the big brown eye thing and Grampa made hamburgers for everyone (and let me tell you, he is an EXCELLENT hamburger maker!) and they chowed down and then everyone left to come home.  Well, mom came home with a TERRIBLE stomach ache.  She thought she had food poisoning (turns out the hamburger wasn’t quite as cooked as it should have been and she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to hurt Grampa’s feelings and so she just ate it.  I thought that was kind of funny given the e. coli lecture from the day before but whatever….) and so she just got in her PJ’s, grabbed me and snuggled into bed.  Papa Eric tried to get her to take some meddies but she was afraid that it would mask the pain and she would not know if it was too serious so she said no.  So Daniel came in and played some songs on his guitar, and Sarah hung out in the bedroom too and mom kind of relaxed and tried to sleep.  Well…. The next morning is when things started to get interesting… I am going to start a new entry for that though, because I don’t want it to be so long that you don’t want to read =)  Besides, maybe I can get back in some people’s good graces with more than one post in a month… two in one week!  One can only hope.  Peace out dudes!

Way back in December

So here is mom… I am not in this picture because seriously I did not have any desire to go out in the snow in a tee shirt and Seahawk hat.  And let the record show that she had just bought it at JC Penney and then wore it out into the snow to take her picture to send back down to El Paso to all the perfectly sane people that were basking in the fact that Christmas was 70 degrees and sunny.  I was snuggled up in the truck sleeping… it had been a long couple of days… Mom and I left Friday night and headed for Houston to pick up the kids.  It should have been an easy trip… we were supposed to land, get picked up by the airport shuttle and then Shannon would bring the kids to the hotel.  Well, after waiting for about an hour for the shuttle that never showed up, Shannon ended up picking us up at the airport and then taking us to the hotel.  I decided to take a little nap while everyone went to dinner but they told me about it when they got back… they walked for MILES (Ok, probably just like 2 miles) to get to a restaurant for dinner… they decided on Mexican food… I like Mexican food… the whole instant gratification thing with the chips and the salsa on the table, which is good for me!  Anyway… so they went and had dinner at Pappasitos Cantina and then came back to the hotel and crashed out…. We got up the next morning (SO EARLY!) and headed for the airport on the shuttle.  We flew to Seattle with no problems but when we got there I saw TONS of white stuff on the ground.  And I didn’t even have a JACKET!  It was crazy!  So the family was in the mall shopping and I was snoozing when the picture was taken.  The family also had lunch at Red Robin (Sarah’s request) and here is a funny note… you will need it to understand about the hospital later… Sarah and Daniel both ordered burgers and Mom made them have theirs well done.  She got a weird look from Eric and she said that she didn’t want the kids to get E. Coli poisoning but if he wanted to kill himself with it he could.  So he had his medium.  You will need to know that later =)  So they did all of their Christmas shopping, and drove home from Lynwood in a snowstorm and tumbled into bed to do Christmas the next morning.  Ok… gotta run, I will tell you about Christmas soon, cuz it leads to the hospital stay… so crazy!!!!

Just when you thought it couldn't get worse....

I actually went 4 months without blogging. Let's just say that life was beyond stressful and leave it at that.  I am no longer doing the photo and writing thing, I got moved to another job and while it certainly has its unique challenges, it is not my passion and it takes a lot out of me.  Lots has been happening, and AJ and I are committed to sharing everything with you.  We will make sure that you get the scoop, but let me leave you with these teasers.... Christmas brought emergency surgery to our house and AJ was recently hypnotized.  Curious?  Check back this week as AJ and I take turns sharing our photos and adventures from the last few months!  I know, mean of me to tease and not put much, but I am SO tired and I need to get some sleep.  AJ is already racked out.... he just got back from Vegas and is still recovering.  We promise to visit with you SOON!!

You're stuck with me

Cuz AJ is packing.  Someone spilled the beans and told him I was thinking about running away for a quick trip in about a week and a half so he's trying to decide what he wants to bring.  I swear, he brings more clothes than I do.  He wants to know if I'll "unattach" his hat before we go but I haven't actually decided yet.  I probably will though, he's going to need a Halloween costume soon and I can't think of much that goes with a red hat!  OK... so we're headed out on a road trip, AJ and I are, because quite frankly, I just need a break.  So we're going to go play and I have to tell you, I got the most perfect road trip present in the WHOLE WORLD for my birthday!  I told Eric that I wanted a new stereo for the Mustang for my birthday.  Now mind you, we're talking the convertible, not Sally so it had to be a good stereo, and I needed new speakers.  He found the COOLEST stereo!  He went to Circuit City, found the stereo, found the speakers, and then called and told me what to go in an get.  It's AMAZING!  I was already excited about the stereo.... it is blue-tooth and satellite radio capable, and it has an aux port on the front for my iPod, but that isn't the coolest feature... it also has a USB drive on the front.  So all I have to do is load up a thumb drive of music, plug it in and away we go.  I had the stereo installed today (ok, a little early, but hey... what's a girl to do?) and let me tell you, I just wanted to drive all night!  The top was down, the night was still warmish, and the stereo ROCKS!  I now have back AND front speakers and it's LOUD!  I could never really hear the stereo before when I was driving on the freeway with the top down and now EVERYONE can share my music with me.... hee hee... only fair since in a convertible I often have to listen to other people's stuff!  Anyway... just wanted to check in and tell you the latest and greatest!  Sorry I've been hogging the computer lately, AJ complains all the time but I am buried in homework... so far I am passing in all of my classes though so I guess it is worth it.  OK... it's late and I am off to bed finally... sleep well my friends, and look forward to AJ letting you know where the open road takes us... we leave a week from Tuesday and we will take the camera!  Much love to you all... talk again soon =) 

Odds and Ends

So I decided that there were some odds and ends of things that I needed to talk about that I just hadn’t gotten to.  Nothing major, just some random stuff that I don’t think you know… and I thought you should.  Mom was watching the Emmy’s last night and I was looking at pictures on the computer and I was reminded of some stuff.  So I will try to post a few pics, and I tell you a few funny, and morally indignant stories. 

First of all, let me start by saying, I had almost totally forgotten that Grampa was not the only person who physically abused me on the trip to the drag races.  You remember… he was too cool to be seen carrying in a turtle so he put me in a PLASTIC BAG… really, have you been in a cave somewhere, don’t you know little kids can CHOKE on plastic bags… seriously… anyway… I also wanted to point out that Mom did a bit of abusing herself.  The story goes back a little but I know you will turtle with me. 

OK… so most of you know that I am a mascot for the green team at camp…. I have been since I was born.  SO… I got in massive amounts of trouble this year for not following the “non-distraction” policy.  Miss Connie was forever on my case about my pants.  See, when I was born, I didn’t get a big enough butt. I know, I know… a lot of you ladies out there right now are thinking, “Gosh… I wish I didn’t get a big enough butt.”  Let me tell ya’, it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Oh… cracked up… FUNNY!  Cuz that’s what I kept getting in trouble for… my pants sliding down off my non-existent butt!  It doesn’t matter what I do, I just don’t have enough junk in the trunk to keep my pants up and in case you aren’t up on current events, belts for turtles are a little hard to come by.  SO…. Mom, being the field expedient one that she is, SAFETY PINNED my pants to my heinie!!  She said that solved the problem, and granted, the pants stayed up, but seriously, at what expense?  That sucker hurt!  Ok… so bad enough that I have a safety pin in my nether regions, when we were at the races, mom was worried about my hat.  She got even more worried after Miss Ashley and Papa Force signed it.  She was afraid that she would be carrying me around and the hat would fall off and be lost forever.  She claims she was worried about sunburn and my “souvenir” but I think she’s been watching a little too much Grey’s Anatomy because she SEWED MY HAT TO MY HEAD… WITHOUT ANESTHESIA! She went to the front desk of the hotel and asked for more safety pins and instead they gave her a sewing kit…. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!  See, you can tell in the picture… the side where the hat lies unnaturally flat?  Yea… sewn on!  So LC kids, Daniel and Sarah… if you ever forget something a lot of days in a row and she asks you if you need a note stapled to your forehead, for the love of Pete…. RUN!!!!!!

Ok… now, the other thing that I have to tell you about.  Did you know we got a dog?  Well, Mom calls her a dog… I am not entirely sure.  This is her.  I think the only redeeming thing about her was that she had green in her ears when we first got her (you KNOW how I LOVE green!) but that has long since gone away.  She is a toy Chihuahua. Ok, cuz like a regular Chihuahua wasn’t small and annoying enough, they had to make a littler one?  I mean get real people!  Ok… so, I have to admit, she was kind of cute when she was small… and I didn’t see her much cuz she’s too little to get up on the bed.  I on the other hand, on the bed all the time unless we are travelling!  Here is a picture of us back when I thought she was cute.  So, I have to tell you this story though, she wasn’t as cute this weekend, Mom let her come and stay at the trailer with us.  She’s not been there much cuz she’s not really allowed… Mom got her when we were living in the other house and then she had to go back to the trailer so it’s all confused… ANYWAY… so she came to stay this weekend for a visit.  Let me share a couple of things with you…. Number one… it is NOT NICE to bite the hand of the turtle whose Mom feeds you!  Let me tell you something little missy, I am NOT a chew toy!  I am NOT rubber, I do NOT squeak, I do NOT dispense treats, do NOT chew on my hands, pull my ears or scratch at my shell.  Ok, and to you mom… I want to submit for record that not once in a restaurant have I endangered you ability to stay!  What am I talking about some of you may ask… Ok, here it goes.

Oh, and before I even start, I am NOT jealous.  I have been out to dinner many times with Mom, I just behave better!  Ok… the trailer has this fire alarm issue… since there are like, a million trailers all strung together they all have a central alarm.  So if one person sins, we all pay.  The fire alarm went off FIVE TIMES this weekend.  Well, it hurts the ears of the mutt.  So when Mom went to dinner (at the Olive Garden, with Uncle Mac, and DIDN’T TAKE ME) she took the puppy in case the fire alarm went off so that her precious little ears would be safe.  OK… I get that part.  Then it gets weird.  She took the dog, and the convertible.  And we all know that as long as the sun is shining, which it does pretty much all the time here… Mom will leave the top down, especially since it is such a pain in the butt to put it down and get the cover thing all sealed on it.  So… here she is with the dog and a convertible.  It’s not like she can leave the dog in the car… and apparently the trunk was out of the question although it seemed like a good idea to me…. So she put the dog and a blanket in a big zippered tote, left the zipper open about ½ an inch for air and put the dog under the table.  Now, I’m not the smartest turtle in the pond, but let’s think about this… tiny dog, small hole, Italian food… yea, you do the math.  All the sudden Mom and Uncle Mac are debating football teams and they hear “oh my gosh, what an adorable puppy” right around the time Mom realizes there is an awful lot of rustling at her feet.  Yea, Chulita shoved her head out of the bag, pushed the zipper over and climbed halfway out.  Luckily mom got her shoved back in and zipped right as the waiter came back.  The ladies at the other table said it was “their little secret.”  Sheesh… how dumb can you be?!  Anyway… just thought I would share with you. 

Ok… those are my odds and ends… I must go, mom is starting to pack up her stuff and want to ask her to post this for me.  Love you all… peace out!  Oh, and a picture of Tony Schumacher just cuz mom still thinks he's the coolest thing ever, even though he got beat this weekend!  Everyone has an off day now and again!